the first day of 2001~~11 pm
"looking back"

WARNING: this entry will be long. sorry, but i have a lot to say and tons to reflect on...deal with it, read it, and WRITE IN MY GUESTBOOK!!!

to update:

last night was a blast. it was another new year's to remember. but first...i need to catch everyone up on my past week. it's been a fun week...frustrating as far as guys are concerned, but fun nevertheless. thursday night i went to cowboys with nat, haley, joni, kellie, jt, and a bunch of people i didn't know. it was great!!! i saw so many harbor people and so many A&F people...it was great. it's been SO freakin long since i've danced all night long...so it was really nice to just dance with tons of people...and dance GOOD. honestly...in indiana, i just don't get the opportunity to just dance my heart out. it's something i definately miss.

friday night i stayed home...i was a sick girl. same saturday...i felt like royal shiiiit. but saturday night was a night for me and haley to just chill. we went to the mall, like we always do, as we are mallrats...then we hit don pablo's for some chips and queso before a movie. what women want is a great film...i loved it!!! mel gibson was just hilarious. now that i sound like a ten year old film critic...i just came home and crashed HARD. i woke up sunday only to find snow...snow all over. haley and i went out to jill's to hang out with her for awhile before her party...then we partied ALL night long. damn...it was fun. i drank lots, danced some more...completely surprised a few ghetto boys with my white girl moves...and had a random hook-up. it was a great night. only today, i feel like shiiiiiit. my stomach is all torn up...my head hurts...and i'm tired as hell. not to mention the fact that i had to work tonight and it's really freakin cold here. i know, indiana is colder, but 27 is cold for texas. REALLY cold.

i go home on friday, still haven't talked to bryan since last tuesday, i've only seen aaron once(that really does upset me...i miss him, and i'm still here), and the sad part is, i really want to go back to school. i really do. BAD. i miss it...i miss erin and danielle and sara and jen and jess and candice and michelle and nick and jerry and michelle and oladipo...i miss UE. but i'm going to miss home. i won't be back until march...then may. wow. that's crazy. really crazy. kay...now you're updated on my life...now for the fun stuff.

looking back:

2000 was a great year. it started off great...last new year's was SO much fun...me, nat, kris...lots of alcohol...yeah, it was fun. then i met paul...and had my ups and downs with him. softball season was awesome...i had my best year ever...and i miss it like nothing else. that game was my life for 13 years...i feel lost. completely lost...and it hurts. then i graduated...after prom and all that fun senior year stuff...but i graduated. done with high school...WOOHOO!!! life is good. the summer brought lots of surprises...aaron was the best and the worst. i fell for him...i'm still fallen...and he turned me upside down. it was my rookie year as a lead...and i had SO much fun, you wouldn't believe it. i can't even explain how much fun it was to take the next step up. yeah, the responsibility is huge, but it was so worth it. next came august...the hardest thing i've ever had to do...say goodbye. i had to leave my natalie and my aaron and kris and joey and everyone...the biggest: mom and daddy. wow. 18 years...and i'm leaving. it was SO freakin hard...indiana is far...and i was homesick like nothing else. but i made friends, i partied, then i got a little reward: coming home for fall break!!! yay!!! it turned out to be really harmful in the long run...aaron and i had the best nights we've EVER had...we got so much closer and i loved it. but i had to go back. i missed everyone so much...and i finally realized how i was. my true self was revealed to my eyes...and i had to deal with it. once i honestly told myself what was wrong...it made so much of a difference. jen and i fought...and fought...and fought...and fought some more. i played with the thoughts of coming home...applied to TCU, was accepted...started housing shit...then started with prozac. great stuff...it is. suddenly i'm happier, i love UE, jen and i are getting along...and, nothing to do with thigns b/t me and jen, i moved into a room with erin. wow...SO much happier. yeah...thanksgiving and my 19th birthday were in there, but they weren't really that important...just more days. more and more days. but i found myself...i found my best friend in indiana...i found ways to deal with me...i found out how people thought of me...and i found out that i can make it on my own. i figured out a lot about me...how i am, why i do what i do...and how i'm different from others. i like me...and i'm glad. i finished my first semester of college, and here i am ready to go start my second...BRING IT ON!!! i wonder what 2001 will have in store for me?!?!?

abby

quote:

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."