9-6-2000~~8:00 at night
"guys are confusing as hell"

what the fuck is up with guys?!? they say that we're hard to understand...but i think that sometimes it's the other way around. i understand that guys need attention...but honestly, why would you go with the chic that just throws herself at you all the time? i'm sorry...i won't do that. i was raised to expect to be treated right, and if i'm not, i won't bow down to you. i'm sorry, that's just not me. i'm not implying anything at all, i just had to get that off my mind.

but as far as guys go in my life...there's one that sticks out in my mind as i think about it. he's been mentioned several times, and he knows who he is...i know that he's reading this...he reads religiously and it's way too cute. in fact, lately i've found a lot about that i think is adorable...his laugh, the way he makes fun of me, the way that he tries to act mad at me, but he really can't. it's just adorable. but that's as far as it goes...i think. i was talking to jen about him last night...and i had a goofy smile and i was all excited about it...and then she asked if i liked him. well, i knew the answer to that question...but i acted like i really had to think about it. and truthfully, i did...she was the first person to ask me about it. and i told her what i thought...i'm way too predictable.

but there's a thorn in that rose...a huge one, with a name. and it's really freakin awkward. i'm talking really bad. and he knows it...he has to. he's a smart guy...he's a quick one! but i have so much fun with him...and i don't want to share...but i was told, point blank, that he didn't want a relationship...and that's cool...but still. this is the ONLY thing that i have patience with...guys. i could wait forever...almost. and i told him that i saw potential in us for the future...but i hate to admit it...it's now. i don't think there could be a better time than now...i could be wrong...i've been wrong before...but i really do think that it could work. we have the best conversations, we are a lot alike, but we have enough differences to keep life interesting. we have totally different sets of friends to keep our lives sane, but we have too much fun together to need anyone else around. i don't know what's going on...and i wish i did. but it really bugs me that he hasn't told me what's going on with the aforementioned thorn. not like it's any of my business...but it really would help me out a LOT...gee, i'm subtle, right? well, i'm out...replies are nice...i got a new guestbook...sign it!!!

abby

quote:

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

^^^^^^

that is an AMAZING quote!!! ...it's judy garland...