2-23-01~~almost 4
"i will NOT be censored"

this is ridiculous. i can't believe i almost protected my diary with a password. i will never do that. never. there are WAY too many people who find out about my daily life from this diary. and erin has a good point. there are too many people on my floor that get offended by my diary and don't take into account that this is the place where i vent so i'm NOT angry or upset anymore. some of you have people you turn to, some of you work out, some of you draw...i write. and i write in here. and then i'm OVER IT. so for me to take my thoughts and feelings away from those that don't see my but every 2 months or so will NOT happen. i've had this diary for almost a year...i'm not ABOUT to take it away. i've had problems with it...believe me. when you take feelings and make them public for anyone and everyone to read, then you find conflict. but i've gotten through it. i have. it's brought natalie and i closer...and farther, and closer. so it's here to stay, as long as i am. also, i really hate the fact that my guestbook has turned into an abby-bashing arena. i really do. what misi was talking about was EXACTLY what i was talking about. my birthday last year wasn't great NOT because of people here. are you listening? that was a little upsetting...but it was REALLY bad when i went home and nobody cared. i only wanted to hear from 3 people that day...and i didn't. that's why it was miserable. NOT because of the people here. you guys (most of you) have been amazing...and have helped me get through me more than you know. and i'm sorry that you feel the way you do towards me...but honestly, what are you trying to accomplish? talk to ME if you want something to change. i'm not going anywhere anytime soon...i'm staying at UE, so that's not changing. you're not going to run me off, and i'm hoping you're not trying to. in fact, i know you're not. but if you're trying to help...then HELP, don't HURT!!!! i can tell you exactly what i need if you want to help...i know. by now, believe me i know. so just let me know...not by anonymous entry in mine, or anyone else's guestbook. but by telling ME.