april 11th~~afternoon
"love the one you're with"

so like, three days later, a bunch of songs and a lot of puking, abby is back. yep..i'm back from the dead. well, i wouldn't really say dead, but i'm back from wishing i was dead. note to self: never eat at on the border again. note taken. hint advised. so i was hospitalized by food. what a miserable place to be. after puking for four and a half hours, i had to beg my parents to take me to the hospital because the pain hurt so bad i really didn't want to breathe. after my first i.v. and blood sample taken, i was forced to drink two bottles of this shit-tasting barium crap to get a CAT scan of my appendix to show up. well, a bottle and a fourth later, i told my dad i couldn't drink any more...it would come right back up. sure enough, 45 minutes later, here comes the nasty orange flavored shit...EWWWW. it tasted worse coming back up. ugh. so when i get the CAT scan taken, the radiologist asked if i had ingested any barium shit. i told her yes, but i threw it all up. so...the alternative...rectal contrast. don't ask. just accept the fact that it's the most painful, awkward thing around...and try to avoid it if you can. seriously...it's horrific. okay, i got to the hospital at 4:45 tuesday morning and didn't leave until noon on wednesday...that's how my days have been. miserably dragging. sound bad? experience it for yourself.

there's a man with a gun over there, tellin me i got to beware

i knew things were too good to be true. seriously...this thing about moving in with jill. it was too good. i love my jilly...but somehow i knew this would happen. i knew that once i put the deposit down and got all excited about moving, something would come up. but it's all good...life is like that, and you just have to take the good with the bad, pick your head up and move on. me...i'm moving onto a place alone, a place by myself...where i have to be strong enough to face my days alone. am i ready? i hope so. will i make it? definately. who knows what demons i'll face, but i do know that i'll come out a winner...because i'm determined. i'm determined to prove everyone that doesn't believe in me wrong. because i'm strong...believe it or not.

young people speakin their mind, getting so much resistance from behind