9-25-00~~11:15 am
"today is SUCH a monday"

it is such a monday. the weather here blows right now...completely horrendous. it's raining and it's cold and it's terrible...hell on someone who's sick as shit. i mean, really. i hate it right now. not to mention the fact that i feel like ass. but life is still good.

marvin gaye is just so pleasant...how can you NOT love a man who sings about how sweet it is to be in love?!? "i wanna stop and thank you baby..."

shannon just moved in right down the hall from me and that makes me happy...she's so awesome and i'm really glad that she's happier with her new room. for her sake, i hope that she gets to stay in a single. that would be SO freakin awesome. it's almost worth the extra $600. but yeah...it's going to be even more fun on this hall with her there.

i had a great conversation with jerry last night...it's been awhile too. i was really happy...i almost forgot about how tired i was-and the fact that i couldn't breathe. that sucked. but i told him about a lot of the things that i've been thinking...that i haven't told him. i didn't get a response...but i'm so used to not getting one, that it was fine.

i talked to copeland AND aaron yesterday!! i was pumped...it was really good to hear from both of them...then, the surprise of the day...kristine called!!! that made me happy...i miss that girl SO much...her hyper, happy attitude...her smiles and her support mean so much to me.

but last night was also a bad night...no matter how good it sounded. i had a hard time with my bio report...it gave me hell. at one point i was SO frustrated that i just broke down in tears...and when you're already so congested that you're having trouble breathing, crying DOESN'T help at all. i just absolutely HATE not knowing what's going on...and not being able to figure it out by myself. it's so demeaning to me...it tears down my self-confidence int he WORST way.

but today will be better...it will. it's nasty outside and i feel like shit, but it will be better. i don't know how...but it will.

much love to everyone who cares--

WRITE IN MY GUESTBOOK!!!!

abby

**today's quote is a great song by patty loveless**

through the back window, of a 59 wagon, i watched my best friend jamie slippin further away. i kept on wavin, till i couldn't see her, and through my tears i asked again, why we couldn't stay. mama whispered softly, "time will ease your pain...life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same. how can i help you to say goodbye? it's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry. come let me hold you and i will try. how can i help you to say goodbye?"

i sit on our bed, he packed his suitcase, i held a picture of our wedding day. his hands were trembling, we both were crying, he kissed me gently, then he quickly walked away. i called up mama,she said "time will ease your pain...life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same. how can i help you to say goodbye? it's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry. come let me hold you and i will try. how can i help you to say goodbye?"

sitting with mama, alone in her bedroom, she opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand. she said "i have to go now, my time here is over" and with her final words she tried to help me understand. mama whispered softly, "time will ease your pain...life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same. how can i help you to say goodbye? it's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry. come let me hold you and i will try. how can i help you to say goodbye?"