still the 19th~~11 again, only dark now
"i need some confidence"

yeah, so why am i so frustrated about this boy? really? we haven't gone on a date yet...but i'm upset that he hasn't called me. maybe it's because, next to maybe dustin or aaron, he's the hottest guy i've ever gotten...and i haven't gotten this one yet. i'm just amazed that he's interested, that's all. really amazed. i mean, wow. and here i was, doubting myself sunday night...and yeah. but here i am, doubting myself now...and yeah.

i finally talked to aaron tonight. yeah...i've been home since wednesday...almost a week, and i haven't seen him yet. that seriously upsets me. i know that he's busy working, and i know i've been busy working, but really. i saw him tons over fall break. and now we know we have tons of time together, and i haven't seen him once. it hurts...it's really hard. i just wish that i was here so i could finally settle this thing between us and figure out what's really there...i want to know if this is love in any form or fashion...i think it is...but i just don't know. you'd think that, especially since i've been with him in some way since june, that i would know. but nope...not at all. i'm clueless. honestly, i am. i just really wish i knew how he felt. i sit there and tell him everytime i'm in town how i feel and what i'm thinking...when all i want is to hear him say how he feels...is that too much to ask? yeah it is.

but anyways...back to brian...he is SO HOT!!! really...wow. i hope...i really hope that he calls me. i just want a date before i leave. i really think that something really cool could come out of this...but what do i know?

enough for tonight...bedtime for abby...i worked 7 hours today.

love you all...

abby

quote:

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

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