3-14-2001 #2~~dinnatime
"i have a secret!!!"

Can You See Through Me???

so, i'm guessing that i'm transparent...because so many people are able to see through me, although i've never said anything specifically in my diary about it. oh well...i guess i can let people know. but no, i think i'll torture you. i think i'll make you wait a long, long time, and try to bug louis and misi into letting you know my little secret. would that be wrong? would it?

he's got posters on the wall, of all the girls he wished she was, and he means everything to her

you know what? i am enjoying being home...but i am missing UE. i really do miss it. i knew i would, but i didn't know how bad. it's just getting harder as the days go by. luckily, there's something (should i say someone?!?) there to help me pass the time and to let me know that there's good reasons for me to come home...hopefully i'll get to go back though. i'm just going to take it slow-i want to be good and ready before i make a jump like that again. i have to know who i am, what i want...and have my mind straightened out. i just need to know that my thoughts are okay.

it's friday night, she's all alone, he's a million miles away. she's dressed to kill, the TV's on, he's connected to the sound

i was reading through a lot of my old entries today...seeing myself grow, fall apart, build back up. watching relationships begin, watching my life change right in front of me. it was kinda scary...some memories that had completely slipped my mind were there...for me to rejoice in...or completely dread. but it was all me. my thoughts, my actions, everything that had anything to do with me and my life since may. that's just weird. really weird. then i started reading someone else's past...and i just like what i see more and more every day. abby is getting happier...i think i've found someone to help me climb out...i need it!

he's too stoned, nintendo. i wish i could make her see...she's just the flavor of the weak

i've been getting tons of calls and emails from copeland...and i don't know what to do. i told him that i had a new relationship that was starting up...that i was really excited about. but i haven't talked to him yet. it's just really awkward right now. i'm here...he's here. it's what we've both hoped for...but i can't have that right now. i know, it's what i've said i've always wanted...but right now, i have something great starting...and i am NOT going to fuck this up...at least i'm going to try not to. this one is WAY too good to get the usual abby treatment.

more tomorrow...i'm hungry.

abby

quote:

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."